For as long as I can remember I’ve been disorganized, prone to overwhelm, an extremist of sorts. I’ve thought for years that that quality was a fundamental of my personality. With the help of my amazing coach, I got to the bottom of that yesterday, or the beginning of the bottom, anyway.

The bottom I got to began because of a conversation about why I was so disorganized, what that covered up, what is allows me to pretend about myself.

Soooo… Here we go!

When I feel like I’m behind, disorganized and overwhelmed by my life, its covering that I don’t think I’m good enough, that I am not the best choice for the job, that someone else can do it better, that I can’t make a difference. I end up feeling sad, useless and fake… and other people, not only don’t get the opportunity to contribute or participate in whatever project I am creating, my “playing small’ gravely invalidates their importance and value. I am saying, essentially “Hey guys… yeah, its way more important for me to be selfish and wrapped up in my own tempest, I don’t really care that you think its a great idea, that you may have a desire to contribute… my disorganization is more important than that.” Yikes, eh?

So this is what it comes down to for me: it is up to me. It is MY job to change the world. There have been countless folks out there claiming such things but I finally got today, that everything is related; including my inability to be organized.

It is MY obligation to serve humanity. To inspire. To contribute. To change the world. To make every ripple I can.