*sigh* Have you ever heard a calling inside so strong it frightened you a little? Yeah. Me too. I have a flurry of nerves and excitement inside me when I think about it. Songs are singing through me, begging for expression. This beautiful. exquisite, perfect Universe craves expression and creation… and I am finally answering the call. Sitting here, in my shitty little desk chair in my new apartment in a lovely comforting neighbourhood. My mom visited awhile back and she said walking the streets and alleys felt like a warm hug. Yeah. Exactly. So I’m living in the centre of a warm hug, writing songs like crazy, rolling along down my rollercoaster; hanging on for life and mostly loving every minute of it. Moments at apexes when I look around at the tiny ant-people below me, realize I’m not strapped in, and ask myself WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING when you jumped into this rickety car… but then there’s no time for thoughts because I’m careening madly down again and my stomach is pasted against my spine and the wind is forcing me to smile. A fascinating specimen of a life I have.

I have somehow done it. I have somehow allowed myself to open to music enough that I feel proud and confident calling myself a musician. Of course, I didn’t ‘somehow’ do it. I chose to come to this city for music and its funny how its still a surprise that I am living my harmony out loud, that I’m not locked in the catacombs, the dark dusty cellars of my nervous brain any longer. “Don’t know where I’m going half the time, don’t know where I’ve been…” but I can’t help but smile and smile.

Its a beautiful life. Here. Now.