I have learned something tremblingly profound just now. I’ve spent the morning sifting through writings from just before I moved to Vancouver last June. I was VERY focused then on creating the life I wanted. I thought critically about all facets and elaborated them in very clear and detailed ways. I remembered that I’d done this but I haven’t really read any of it until now.

The sweet lovely lesson I am taking with me is to always be fully where you are, embracing yourself with wide open, loving arms because greatness is in all of us at every moment, whether we can see it. We create the struggle, the illusion of “bad” or “wrong”.
I am breathing long slow breaths that taste of wonder, wispy and loving. This is the freedom that is present for me in every moment, if I am willing to open to it. Awakening today feels like flowers unfurling just behind my breast bone, tilting their heads up, tickling my heart. Its simple and smiling.

There is a choice in every moment… so how does one choose peace? I have battled with this because when I am uninspired I have no willingness to participate in my own growth and it doesn’t matter how many wise, inspired quotes I have plastered on my walls. There is an art to allowing, to being. I am coming around to that. Everything else is just insane, the frantic ego running around trying to keep the sets and costumes perfectly placed to as to not reveal the wizard’s tricks. The insanity is; we are the wizard. Somehow our egos find ways to hide us from ourselves! Deft little buggers. When that curtain falls we are staring into the abyss of love and lightness that we are, we witness ourselves rising and glorious. Staring into myself is where I begin to feel with something otherworldly, bigger than my five earth tuned senses. The vastness of the abyss, the near incomprehension of its infinity makes me feel my body dis-integrate… as if my collection of atoms, those that I’ve claimed as “my” body, “my” self are dispersing, dancing of their own accord, stretching their arms out into their own space.

We are life… there is no “I am life” Eckhart Tolle explains this very well. “I am life” implies that its possible to be separated from life; that there is an “I” and a “life”. There are no such delineations in this formed world so it is an impossibility to have and be both.