I have been listening to songs lately, really listening to songs, all the layers and the sincerity of the messages in their lyrics, the meanings of the words and how they are carefully hung together. I am thinking of my own ways to express the love that seeps from Joni Mitchell liltingly, and bittersweetly professing: “I could drink a case of you and I would still be on my feet.” or the younger, less poetic, unapologetic Avril Lavigne: “I don’t want to fall to pieces, I just want to sit and stare at you. I don’t want a conversation, I just want to cry in front of you” or my favourite illustration of complete, unconditional love from Paul Simon in Graceland: “She comes back to tell me she’s gone, As if I didn’t know that, As if I didn’t know my own bed, As if I’d never noticed, The way she brushed her hair from her forehead.” or My Chemical Romance describing a powerful moment between a father and son: “He said ‘Son, when you grow up will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned? Will you defeat them; your demons and the non-believers?’” or the honest and scary depiction of an intervention by The Fray: “Let him know that you know best, Cause after all you do know best, Try to slip past his defense… Lay down a list of what is wrong, The things you’ve told him all along, And pray to God he hears you, And pray to God he hears you. Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend.” or the vulnerable and starkly open invitation by Snow Patrol: “If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world.” I could go on forever, and I will.

Moments like these in songs make me cry, and leave me wondering if I can ever say anything that will be as profound and inspiring as those words, I hope so, and I think so. More and more often I am catching this doubt sooner and instead leaving my heart open. Scary but it feels so good.

I have written 5 new songs (5 new songs!!), as yet unperformed. I will work on them and maybe be brave enough to share some at Open Mic on Wednesday. It happened so easily, I love these bursts of creative energy… I can conquer the world in these moments. I am learning so many new writing exercises and techniques. I guess everyone was right, ‘practice makes perfect’.

Currently listening to: Only Four Seasons, by Joe Purdy

I’m sitting alone in a hotel room in Nanaimo. I am surrounded by my guitars, my amp (which is plugged into my computer and playing music). Half the bed is piled with books that I have collected for this trip. Yesterday in its entirety was spent driving. I stopped a few times but I took the long, meandering oceanside road for most of the trip. It didn’t take me the entire day to drive to Nanaimo from Crofton, I should clarify. I intended to stay at Mt Washington in a friends Chalet. When I finally got up there it was about 7pm and the prospect of trudging back and forth through the snow with my guitars and my computer and my amp… was loathsome. I know this too. I don’t like the snow when I have a purpose that doesn’t directly involve it. I spent a few minutes trying to figure out which Chalet I had the keys for but it was getting dark and I had to get really close to see numbers and that meant I was leaping through snow that was deeper than my legs are long. Instead of getting frustrated, I got back in my car with my soaking wet pants and headed right back down the mountain. This is the perfect depiction of my personality. i don’t think things through, I jump into to everything with both feet, sometimes I end up with wet legs, but I roll with the punches.

I am here in this dingy, ragged hotel room doing exactly what I planned to do. The venue of it wasn’t important… I could have stayed on Saltspring for what its worth, but I didn’t. I am here and I am writing and playing. I figured out the beginning of ‘Welcome To My Black Parade’ by My Chemical Romance last night. ALL BY MYSELF; that is the first time I’ve ever done that. I couldn’t quite sift through all the other stuff to get the chords, I still have to practice that but I can play along on my electric to the first part which I love!!! Oh yeah, who’s a rockstar?

Hey–a friend recently told me that people actually read these… that is why I decided to write again. By the looks of it 108 people have read my blog, fascinating. One small request: leave a comment when you read my blog…

Currently listening to: Begin to Hope, by Regina Spektor